《Forced Living Apart from Family》– Ben

His starting of a new life shared by Co Co To, Youth Community Co-Living Service Project-in-charge

Life back home

Since 2008 when Ben studied in secondary school, he has started living in Evangel Children’s Home (ECH) with referral by a social worker because Ben’s father suffered from illness and was emotionally unstable. He planned to go home and lived with his parents after he was 18 years old and had finished DSE, however, his plan did not work and he was forced to become “homeless” eventually.

Ben faced a big challenge after he got back home.  His father’s condition was getting worse, e.g. he kept tidying from midnight until early morning, or often yelling at Ben at home.  Ben’s mother was threatened by his father and was forced to leave home as well.  Ben wanted to have normal living with peace, so he applied for the Youth Home services offered by ECH. “Although I have not been to hell, the life at home seemed like to be same as in hell.” Ben said

“NEET” youth get lost

Ben’s HKDSE results were unsatisfactory – he only got a pass in Computer Science. Ben, as a fledgling adolescent, he could only look for a job with lower qualification request.  He had to accept the reality helplessly that he could not go upstream.  He was reluctant to go home and hanged around the streets at night.  Ben described himself as “NEET” (Youth not in employment, education or training). He was lost without hope in his life, without love in his growth, without direction or way out.  Ben realized he had to further study if he wanted to alter the situation.  It is fortunate to have social workers and mentors standing by Ben’s side, not only encouraged him, but also taught him the techniques of writing resume and job interviews.  All could help him to step up with confidence.

Youth home service brings hope

After living in Youth Home for 2 years, Ben started adapting his career life.  He tried to move back to home, but Ben’s father was still not stable at all.  Later, Ben applied “Youth Community Co-Living Service” in 2019. Co-living apartments are provided by caring owner with low rents, allowing him to have a safe and stable space to rest and study. He can start planning for the future. He recalled that when he first moved into the Youth Home, he felt that he was abandoned by his family. Ben was so affected by his family background and his father’s situation.  He realized that he had to improve his academic qualifications and have a stable income to improve his life.

Ben used Zoom Meeting to prepare for job interviews
Ben used Zoom Meeting to prepare for job interviews
Career Planning Workshop helped explore career interests and enthusiasm

Ben learned how to get along with others in the youth home life.  He got the care and love from social workers and mentors.  He was assisted in finding directions in his career and was encouraged to find his own interests from different attempts.  Finally he had successfully got a computer-related job in a secondary school. Having stable working hours, Ben could arrange further studies as well as join the gathering and worship at church. He could start his self-help living.  Ben’s confidence was strengthened when he got the affirmation from his boss at work.  He was no longer a “NEET” now.  He hoped that he could have further study in university and broaden his knowledge in financial management and to get prepared to settle down and start a new family.

Postscript

Past experience helped Ben develop self-reflection about life.  He found out he was not only in a position being helped, but also he had the ability to help others instead.  Ben would take the initiative to cook for his flat-mates, ask them to run together, and help other youth with difficulties.  He was grateful when looking back, he knew he was loved and got the help from different people – with their love and help; he could overcome difficulties from being lost to learning how to plan his life.  At this moment, Ben’s biggest wish is to study in university and take good care of his mother.  

New Year gathering with his flat-mates and social worker (Ben, first at the right hand side)

Ben is about to leave the “Youth Community Co-living Service” and he is moving towards his goal progressively.  He is so grateful that he could have the opportunity in living in ECH over the years, where he could learn about self-care, career planning, financial management and his horizons is broadened.  He believes that all is God’s grace and he will keep working hard to equip himself to face new upcoming challenge.

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