Category: Youth Stories

His starting of a new life shared by Co Co To, Youth Community Co-Living Service Project-in-charge

Life back home

Since 2008 when Ben studied in secondary school, he has started living in Evangel Children’s Home (ECH) with referral by a social worker because Ben’s father suffered from illness and was emotionally unstable. He planned to go home and lived with his parents after he was 18 years old and had finished DSE, however, his plan did not work and he was forced to become “homeless” eventually.

Ben faced a big challenge after he got back home.  His father’s condition was getting worse, e.g. he kept tidying from midnight until early morning, or often yelling at Ben at home.  Ben’s mother was threatened by his father and was forced to leave home as well.  Ben wanted to have normal living with peace, so he applied for the Youth Home services offered by ECH. “Although I have not been to hell, the life at home seemed like to be same as in hell.” Ben said

“NEET” youth get lost

Ben’s HKDSE results were unsatisfactory – he only got a pass in Computer Science. Ben, as a fledgling adolescent, he could only look for a job with lower qualification request.  He had to accept the reality helplessly that he could not go upstream.  He was reluctant to go home and hanged around the streets at night.  Ben described himself as “NEET” (Youth not in employment, education or training). He was lost without hope in his life, without love in his growth, without direction or way out.  Ben realized he had to further study if he wanted to alter the situation.  It is fortunate to have social workers and mentors standing by Ben’s side, not only encouraged him, but also taught him the techniques of writing resume and job interviews.  All could help him to step up with confidence.

Youth home service brings hope

After living in Youth Home for 2 years, Ben started adapting his career life.  He tried to move back to home, but Ben’s father was still not stable at all.  Later, Ben applied “Youth Community Co-Living Service” in 2019. Co-living apartments are provided by caring owner with low rents, allowing him to have a safe and stable space to rest and study. He can start planning for the future. He recalled that when he first moved into the Youth Home, he felt that he was abandoned by his family. Ben was so affected by his family background and his father’s situation.  He realized that he had to improve his academic qualifications and have a stable income to improve his life.

Ben learned how to get along with others in the youth home life.  He got the care and love from social workers and mentors.  He was assisted in finding directions in his career and was encouraged to find his own interests from different attempts.  Finally he had successfully got a computer-related job in a secondary school. Having stable working hours, Ben could arrange further studies as well as join the gathering and worship at church. He could start his self-help living.  Ben’s confidence was strengthened when he got the affirmation from his boss at work.  He was no longer a “NEET” now.  He hoped that he could have further study in university and broaden his knowledge in financial management and to get prepared to settle down and start a new family.

Postscript

Past experience helped Ben develop self-reflection about life.  He found out he was not only in a position being helped, but also he had the ability to help others instead.  Ben would take the initiative to cook for his flat-mates, ask them to run together, and help other youth with difficulties.  He was grateful when looking back, he knew he was loved and got the help from different people – with their love and help; he could overcome difficulties from being lost to learning how to plan his life.  At this moment, Ben’s biggest wish is to study in university and take good care of his mother.  

Ben is about to leave the “Youth Community Co-living Service” and he is moving towards his goal progressively.  He is so grateful that he could have the opportunity in living in ECH over the years, where he could learn about self-care, career planning, financial management and his horizons is broadened.  He believes that all is God’s grace and he will keep working hard to equip himself to face new upcoming challenge.

Ho Man grows up from a dysfunctional family. Because of knowing God, his life is changed. Because he is loved, he learns to care for others. Adversity tempers and equips him to the career path of outreaching social work.

Re-adaptation

Ho Man’s father is an addict; his mother is also unable to take care of him because of illness. He was arranged to live in different children homes and foster families. Since year 3 in primary school, he moved to live in Evangel Children’s Home (ECH).  He had been getting along with people from different backgrounds since he was a child.  Ho Man understood that everyone would protect oneself in different ways. At the early stage, he was not good at interpersonal skills but gradually he understood others’ needs.

Ho Man said that he was very uncomfortable with the move at the early stage. At that time, the children in primary and secondary school levels in a large age gap had to live together. When he was just a little child, he found it difficult to get along with others, and his emotional behavior had been poor. He especially thanked “Sheung”, the house parent, for her patience and tolerance. She patiently taught him how to get along in a group. He began to care about the feelings of others, learn to understand emotional management, and with the help from his religion that he found love, he had the peace of mind spiritually.

Transition to live independently

Due to the lack of family support, Ho Man had to plan for his own living when he was at his young stage preparing for DSE in 2020. He was really helpless. Thanks to the assistance from social workers, he applied for accommodation in youth home. With transitional stay arrangement, he was relieved that he could advance his studies.

At youth home, he is required to manage his own finances: such as tuition and living expenses; every day after school, he has to buy food, cook, take homework and housework, and is exhausted. But Ho Man does not complain about his background. Grateful for the youth home’s offering of different workshops such as interview skills, grooming, social interaction training and personality test or else, he can understand better himself, learn about the requirements and career direction in the workplace. The life coaches give him personal guidance based on “Life Path” to explore for life.  These help add value for his transition to live independently.

Setting a Goal

As a slow-type person, Ho Man pinpointed that he is not good at interacting with people. But because of knowing God, his life is changed.  Getting out of the shadow of a negative past, and believing that God will open up the way for him, he has a different level of self-confidence. He also keeps on being grateful. He has been cared for and encouraged by social workers and house parents since he was a child. With them as role models, he has set a goal to be an outreach social worker that he could take advantage of his own experience to help others.

Jacky, the resident of Youth Home, is always cheerful and polite. He comes from a single-parent family and is unable to find his roots. Growing up feeling loved help build his cheerful character.  

Love Helps his Growth

School principal found his mother mentally unstable during a home visit at his primary year 3 at primary school. Referred by social worker from school, he moved to live in Evangel Children’s Home (ECH). At that time, Jacky felt that his mother’s care is of no difference from that of ordinary family, he thought only orphans would live in the children’s home, and queried why the move. It was not until Form 3 that he understood about his mother’s mental condition and her limitations.

Jacky always has a good impression of her mother and describes her as a “supper mum” with unconditional love.  Even though he is naughty sometimes, she never beats or scolds.

Love Extends

He was still young when he first moved to children home. He often missed his mother. Due to the age difference among kids, he found it difficult to communicate with them. Besides, he had to adapt to the house rules. He became emotional and often lost his temper. With a smile, Jacky pinpointed that Paul, the house parent Paul and Joe, the social worker knew his troubles well. He thanked them for their patience and tolerance.

Love can Build

Jacky planned ahead at secondary school stage the future living as he knew that he had to leave the children home at the age of 18. Fortunately, with a chance to advance his study, he took transitional stay at the youth home from ECH.  It provides him a stable residence, and he could then concentrate on studying. The youth home conducts various workshops, such as financial management courses, career guidance; the pairing up of life coach to help him broaden his horizons, change his “hard-necked” personality. He learns also problem-solving skills and multi-angle thinking. Although his family member could not guide him, with the help of his tutor at youth home, his confidence was built up gradually. Jacky joins the workforce now as a clerk in a real estate development company. He is grateful to his colleagues for their willingness to teach him. Gradually, he has adapted to start up at work.

Jacky is a well-prepared youngster with future planning. He sincerely thanks the mentors and social workers who help him.  Though he is from a broken family, his life is filled with love, which help build up to be a sunshine boy.

By Emma Leung, Youth Ministry in Charge of Evangel Children’s Home

Sally had been staying Evangel Children’s Home ever since Primary 6. By Form 5, she left school without taking the DSE because she could not catch up with the studies. “At that time, I was confused and didn’t know where to go. And my parents suffer from mental illness, it was difficult for me to go home and live with them.” Sally said, frowning, and said sadly.

I don’t know how to get started

At that time, Sally was young, had no working experience, and was unable to return home to live, so she applied for admission to the Youth Hostel of our Evangel Children’s Home. “I change from a full-time student to a vocational youth status. At that time, I am nervous and stressed, and I don’t know how to get started. I have to face employment, earn a living, cope with life issues, be responsible for my life, and have to start a new chapter of my life. But I am not ready.” Sally described her mood at the time. Fortunately, the youth service tutor mastered Sally’s situation, and before she officially joined the workforce, she looked for internship opportunities and applied for salary allowances. There was also career coach who taught Sally how to perform at work and to help her adapt to her new status.

Take the first step

“The youth service tutor helps me find a job to work as a Program Assistant in an E.F.C.C. Family & Community Service Center. Even though I have no idea about the job, I have to try and take a first step.” Sally was happy about her taking the first step. This was a breakthrough for her. During that six-month internship, Sally found that she was not initiative enough and her communication was not clear enough. She believed that she had to learn to be patient, communicate with others, be responsible and be punctual and follow rules.

Inspiring growth experience

Looking back the life at ECH more than ten years before, Sally frankly stated that she was not used to manage money, “In the life at ECH in the school period, I don’t need to worry about money, because the foster home parents will give me pocket money every day, and I don’t have to plan. While transiting to youth hostel, I have to learn to be independent, to be responsible for my own living, think cautiously about how to use money, to allocate savings, shopping, living expenses etc. I’m really not used to it.”  In the past two and a half years, the Youth Home Tutor set up a monthly savings target and expenses limit with Sally, so as to reserve for living in future.

 “I never understand the establishment of interpersonal relationships and the communication skills. The Youth Home Tutor will take the initiative to talk to me, try to understand what I think, guide me to have a deal with others, teach me how to express myself, take the initiative to coordinate with other flat-mates and accommodate each other. I used to be persistent, but now I learn to accept it because people are not perfect. I used to cry and lose my temper to express my emotions, but now I learn to express it with words. The instructor will teach me to take a deep breath and relax myself, which can immediately relieve stress”, Sally reviewed on her changes.

When Sally is relaxed at home, she and the tutor rap talk to encourage each other…

Go Go Go, Looking For Jesus
Less Less Dislike, More Courage   
Try Your Best, Not To Despise Yourself
Less Less Desire, More More Hope, We Shall Look Back Later

Postscript

Young people always face the stage of confusion and bumps in the face of independent life and growth. Most importantly, young people should be ready with the willingness to start a “second life”, try new things and be responsible for themselves. We thank so much Fu Tak Iam Foundation, co-op partners, associated churches, donors and volunteers, for the opportunities given to our foster youth, the “supporting” them and “walking” with them. We wish the “Second Chance in Life” – Transitional Youth Sponsorship Program could bless more youth in need.

Leo, a former resident of the youth home, attended the “2nd Chance in Life – Youth Ministry” kick-off ceremony to inspire other young people with life renewal testimony.

Struggles in Personal Growth

Leo grew up in a traditional family. His father is strict, and he would discipline him by beating and scolding. In order to reduce conflicts, he avoided the father who came back in shifts at night. Starting when he was young, he would sleep with his head before 11 o’clock every night. When he did something wrong, he was beaten by his father, and there was case that he was admitted to hospital for stitches. Later, he was referred by a social worker to live in the youth home of the Evangelical Children’s Home. From that time, he had to rely on his own ability to make ends meet. At that time, he just graduated from high school and failed to enter university. For the sake of his future, he took IVE Advanced Diploma course during the day and worked at night to make a living. Even though the social worker suggested him to apply for CSSA, he refused. He led a busy life of self-improvement and self-reliance every day, and he never looked back to the past, nor remembered who he loved or hated.

Turing Point in Life

It was God’s plan for staying in the youth home. There were other home alternatives at that time, but I moved into the youth home of the Evangel Children’s Home. He was invited by his family mentor to participate in an evangelistic fellowship with Tung Fook Kowloon East Church to learn about the gospel. During the period, he heard a sermon that touched his heart deeply. The content was roughly to remind that living a Christian life should follow bible and act like Jesus. The two passages of Scripture were like fists into his heart:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

Matthew 7:3

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:23-24

Reconciliation of Relationship

As time passed by, he thought he should have let go of his past pains and forgave his father. It was not until one time the pastor prayed for him and gave him a hug like a father, which softened his heart. When the pastor said “I’m sorry” on behalf of his father, Leo burst into tears because he hadn’t has such beloved feeling for a long time. The feeling of “love”, the Holy Spirit reminded him to forgive his Dad verbally, and to express it from the bottom of his heart. Indeed, there is no denying the fact that parent-child relationship is an ironclad DNA, and the Ten Commandments of the Bible also state: “Honor your parents so that you are blessed.”

A strange thing happened. After a few weeks, when he returned home for dinner with his mother, his father asked him if he no longer recognized him as his father. At this moment, he finally understood why he was moved to forgive his father when he ran that day. It was no coincidence. , God has already prepared. On that night, their father and son broke through the long-frozen iceberg and repaired the relationship between father and son. When you “really” “from the heart” forgive your father and repair your relationship with your father, you can share your heartfelt feelings with each other frankly and feel relieved.

After sharing his testimony at the “2nd Chance in Life – Youth Ministry” kick-off ceremony, Leo embraced his father and was much moved. Dr. Choi Yuen Wan prayed for them after the event.

Due to domestic and family violence and emotional issue, Yui Ming was arranged to stay in Evangel Children’s Home when he was 10 years old. He had to leave his home at a young age. According to the social welfare regulations, he must age out at the age of 18. However, Yui Ming has not yet completed the DSE course yet, so he went home to live with his mother with an attempt of trying. There were still many conflicts. Because he had to take care of both school and part-time jobs, his mother complained that he had been often away from home, and he is useless with little earnings, and should not live at home. He was often ridiculed, and his belongings were being thrown away from home. It was not possible to continue living with her, and he was forced to leave again.

Later, he learned that there was a “Second Chance in Life Sponsorship Program”, and he returned to Evangel Children’s Home after half a year to stay in their youth home. The home provided a transitional residence and a stable place to live. A mentor discussed the road ahead with him, and his heart gradually settled down. Yui Ming said frankly that when he was at home, there were no elders to talk to him about this topic, and he was often the only one, and he was very confused about the future. “I need a lamp to see the way forward” was Yui Ming’s voice at the time.

After graduating from DSE, Yui Ming successfully joined the MTR as a railway maintenance worker. The two-year transition period of the Youth Home was over. The mentor helped find a kind-hearted landlord that he moved into small units in the urban area at lower rents. With a stable job and home, Yui Ming set goals for himself to take courses related to maintenance and hoped to become a maintenance master in 10 years. In his spare time, he would also join volunteer services and participate in voluntary tutorials, hoping to help children with similar experiences through his own experience.

Looking back, Yui Ming was very grateful to the people he met, those who helped him, and led him to grow. He used to be introverted and he was afraid of many things. Nowadays he had learned the skills to be independent and he knew how to take care of himself. He believed that “people must be contributing, and the important thing is to learn.” He learned how to deal with things and how to respect others. He did not feel resentment about his background. He saw his family important. Even if he could not get along for some reason, he would still need to meet up family members, love and care for them because his family could not be replaced.

Yui Ming encourages fellow youth to learn to equip themselves, find the target like a shot into a basket, keep their eyes on the shot, and stick to the target.

TVB  Sunday Report – “After Age 18”
http://news.tvb.com/programmes/sundayreport/5c8dd478e6038321761c9163/4/十八歲後